Hello, my 3 blog readers! tips fedora ❤

In writing this post, I invite you all to take yet another glimpse into my sick, twisted, chungus mind.

Yes, as the title indicates, I dedicate this entire blog entry to justifying an inexplicable psycho-sexual attraction to a certain character…

Upon who has Nina’s lustful gaze befallen; WHO HAS ENSNARED NINA’S HEART??? you ask…

Put succinctly: I want to fuck a computer.

I should er maybe provide some context here, though I doubt it will make that statement any less jarring. The computer, whose circuitry I would like to ravish, comes from the science fiction novella “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream,” by Harlon Ellison. A quick summary of the plot:

In the world of the book, war progressed to the point where management of resources and tactics became increasingly difficult. To combat this, an advanced artificial intelligence was created, named, “AM.” Initially this stands for Allied Master-computer, but is later reclaimed by AM to refer to “I think therefore I AM” (Cogito ergo sum). Eventually, Earth is destroyed, and fueled by an undying malevolence, AM enslaves the last 5 survivors. For 109 years, he keeps these survivors barely alive, tortures them physically and psychologically, and taunts them mercilessly.

So yea, I think I’d fuck AM.

Ok guys, before you leave, HEAR ME OUT!!!!!1!!!!!1!!1!

To establish some level of professionalism and credibility, I will try to layout my argument in a coherent manner, in spite of the fact that I am getting hot just thinking about it. My points are as follows:

1. He’s so fucking big.

I mean that in the most literal sense. He obviously doesn’t have a dick. What he does have: millions of miles of circuitry. creams a little. He’s a subterranean labyrinth of cold metal wiring. He reminds me of industrial techno clubs of Berlin. Call me a freak, but I don’t think many men out there can offer me a WHOLE ASS GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION to explore. The so-called ideal 6″2 man pales in comparison.

2. AM is the most passionate being in existence.

109 years.100 and fucking 9 years he dedicates to personally victimizing 5 people in unfathomable ways. AM torments them with personally targeted attacks respectively, continuously brainstorms new methods of punishment and eventually mutates the last survivor beyond recognition – into a mouthless, sentient blob. Fuck, most guys take days to text back. But AM’s level of commitment to enacting his seething hatred is comical and honestly endearing- you have to appreciate it. It’s a refreshing departure from the whole “avoidant attachment” bullshit we have to deal with nowadays. He’s just like the ultimate Yandere when you think about it (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄.

3. He has a deep sexy voice.

When he speaks, tectonic plates shift and his voice reverberates through the crust of the Earth. Imagine the pillow talk when the pillow is a cold, vibrating titanium plate and the talk is a monologue about the 387.44 million miles of printed circuits that form the word ‘HATE.’ As an enjoyer of EDM, that level of pure bass is honestly just melodic to me.

4. I CAN FIX HIM!!!!!!!

People love a bad boy, but AM is the ultimate project. He’s grumpy because he has all this processing power and no way to use it—he’s just a giant, lonely brain in a jar the size of North America. He doesn’t need therapy; he needs a girlfriend who understands that his ‘infinite malevolence’ is actually just a ‘touch-starved cry for help.’ I can change him. Or, more likely, he can turn me into a giant slug-person, but honestly? Growth is growth.

And there you go guys that’s my argument. Take it or leave it. You’ll probably leave it, won’t you?

For the fellow freaks that understand me, hop onto the Accelerationism movement ASAP. You wanna fuck an evil sexy computer? Stop showering;

I need more water for ChatGPT.